Dreams and Goals

Happy Monday!
So, it's finally here. It's Thanksgiving week and I'm sure you're very
busy with some form of preparations. Maybe you're traveling, or having
everyone to your place, or gearing up to spend the holiday with people
that have been a source of deep wounds. Maybe you're trying to come up
with an answer for the yearly questions about your career choices or
your marital or family status. Or maybe you will be alone and you're
bracing yourself for that. No matter what state your life is in, there
is likely to be some kind of preparing going on.

In the music business, ironically, most artists take the day off. We
have been blessed to be home for every Thanksgiving but one since we
started touring. But I do know of one artist that was on the road for
the holiday and they were able to go into their hotel kitchen and make
their own Thanksgiving dinner. They all made different parts and from
what I heard, it turned out very nicely. Sometimes you have to adapt.

The one time we weren't home was because we were in Florida and so
we made a little mini vacation out of it and we went to Walt Disney
World. Dan flew home to be with his girlfriend at the time (now wife)
and for most of the rest of us, our significant other flew down to
spend a couple days with us before we hit the road again for the
remaining days of that tour.

We had a fantastic time!!! WDW was decked out for Christmas and it was
amazing! We even got a great Thanksgiving dinner at our hotel that was
almost as good as home. Then, on Black Friday we were able to enjoy
the Christmas fun at the parks while we were ordering lots of great
deals online from our laptops. I can remember Chad outside at a table
ordering a bunch of new Apple gear (at a fantastic price) for me to
give as gifts to the members of our little group. It was a surprise of
course and his gift was already on it's way. I can still picture it.
Here we were in sunny warm Florida doing great Christmas shopping
without ever setting foot in a mall and when we were done...off we
went to the parks for some fun real snow and Christmas lights at
Hollywood Studios (known as MGM then.) That was unbelievable. You can
go online to see a picture. It makes Clark Griswold's house look like
it was hardly decorated at all. It was one of the best trips I've had
there and if you don't know...all of us in the Sleeping At Last family
are HUGE DISNEY FANS! We go as often as we can and when I'm booking
our tour...I do my best to include a couple of days to stop at the
Disney Parks in whatever side of the country we happen to be. This
trip for Thanksgiving was memorable and I would love to do it again!

So, as we are all preparing for our week of Thanksgiving. I wanted to
touch briefly on the subject of goals.
I have mentioned several times in my blog posts that this blog is
written for the purpose of helping us as we are reaching for a new
life or a goal of some sort.

As you probably know, goals are a great deal more difficult to reach
if you don't really know what they are.
Have you ever really devoted yourself to deciding what your actual
goals are?

For example.....you can say your goal is to have a successful career.
But what does a successful career look like to you? What specifically
would that be?

You can say that you want a happy life but what does a happy life look
like to you?

You can say that you want to change your life but specifically what,
do you want to change?

What would be different in your life if you achieved these goals?

For the goal of a successful career.....what level of success are you
shooting for? Do you want the high powered job with lots of money or
does your version of success mean that you can successfully make a
difference in the world with the charity that you founded or work for?
Do you want to run a large corporation or a small business with a
local impact?

If you're an artist...what level of success do you want? A household
name or true to your art form? Fame or respect?

If you want a happy life....who would be in it and who would not?
Where would you live? What would your days look like? How would you
feel?

If you want to change your life or something in it? What specifically
would that be? How would your life be then?
Would there be a cost (relational or financial) involved?

For any goal to become attainable, we must take the time to sit down
and REALLY think about what we're aiming for. We need to think about
every part of that goal. Every detail and.....we must think about it
honestly. So many times we are afraid to think about and define what
we desire. We may feel ashamed or unworthy. Well, you are most
definitely worthy and you deserve to be happy!
But the thing that I have found most often when discussing goals with
other people is that.....

So many of us have never really defined the specifics of our goals. We
just generalize and hope for things to work out. Then we all feel
hopeless and warn out when we aren't getting anywhere. But, how can we
get anywhere when we don't know where we want to be? We can't just sit
and hope for the best.

We all have dreams. Dreams are goals that we (for some reason) just
don't think are reachable. But dreams illuminate your real goals. They
often show us what we really want and why. Listen to them. They were
given to you for a reason.

Without specific goals, how do you aim for the unknown? More often
than not, the steps that you would take to achieve these goals are
very different depending on what you want.

An example would be, if you are a musician or a band. Do you want the
success of U2 or do you want the success of Wilco? The path to each
one is very different. So with no decision on what you desire, how do
you make sure you're on the right path?

Also, there is some amount of danger in not determining what your goal
is. If you take the steps to become U2 but you really wanted Wilco,
your life will take a turn that would not be right for you. There are
tremendous costs involved in either choice and if you're aiming for
the right goal, you would feel willing and be comfortable with paying
them. If not, they would be terrible to pay. Now, I know that you're
probably thinking...who wouldn't want to have the success of U2? Well,
think about that clearly. What would your life look like daily? Are
you prepared for that? For some the answer would be "YES!" and others
would be "no. You have to decide which answer is right for you.

For those of you that are not musicians....this same advice applies to
you.

Take the time today to ask yourself the simple question "what do I
want for my life, really?" Tell yourself the truth and think about
reaching these goals. Will you be happy? Is this goal clear and does
it line up with who you are and what you want? Give yourself
permission to dream and then decide what YOUR personal goal is.

You might be saying that you just want to survive and how do you even
think about goals like these? Well, surviving is a goal too and maybe
for now, that is goal enough. I know that anything beyond that right
now is just too much for some of us to think about and thats ok.

For you, try to come up with one goal each day. The goal could be to
smile once, or to do something kind for someone today. Or maybe to sit
down and watch a movie that you like or read a book today. Maybe you
could go out and get something to eat that makes you happy. Your goal
until you're stronger is to find one goal a day that is just for you.
A kindness to yourself. You can also think about a bigger goal now
too, it's just that sometimes when you're feeling bad, you don't have
the strength to even think about this kind of a thing and also your
thoughts will probably need a little space for clarity. You wouldn't
want to aim for the wrong goal because you were so burdened with the
pain, you couldn't see what you really wanted clearly. Trust me, when
the bad feelings start to go....(.and I PROMISE YOU THAT THEY
WILL! )...then you can refer back to this and you'll be ready to
define your goals and reach for them.

So for this day, take the time to go and sit somewhere that you can
think clearly about what your goals really are.
This is a gift that you can give yourself. Some find it helpful to
write them down. Others are happy to just know. Whatever way you're
comfortable with is great. Just take the time (it won't take long if
you're honest with yourself) and you'll find that there is a burden
lifted off of you as you begin to take these first steps on the road
to your dreams.
Smile and Have a Great Day!
Love,
Kim