Perfect non Perfection

So, it's December 15th and Christmas is only 10 days away now.  That thought can bring excitement and joy to many of us or in many cases can release a feeling of total terror. Terror at the thought of seeing family members that maybe we don't get along with. Terror of the expenses and how are we going to cover them? 

And terror that we have so much to do and how can we possibly get it all done? 

For me, a few of those thoughts apply. But the one that I wanted to talk about today is the last one. 

Terror that we won't be able to get it all done on time.

When you think about it....it isn't the getting it done part that we get stressed about. The stress is that we will let someone down. It could be ourselves even. We can't bear that thought of letting the people that we love down. 

That's what it is for me every year. 

The funny part is that my family has told me repeatedly that they would like it better if I was having a good Christmas too and not stressing about making it perfect for everyone else.  

Every year I would tell myself that this year would be different and yet, they were all the same. Christmas would come and everyone would have a wonderful time and I would be so thrilled with how it turned out and then like clockwork....within the next few days, I would collapse and get sick. 

Well, that sounds fun doesn't it?

The other day, I was starting to panic at the thought of getting all of the food figured out for Christmas day and all of the places that I'll have to go for picking things up and all in one day etc etc etc...now, I know that in the scope of life, this is no big problem. Certainly there are far more trying things happening in the world.  I always tell myself exactly that too. But the result is the same. STRESSSSSSS

So, I decided to let myself just think....only think mind you.....about how it would feel if we just relaxed and had a fun day without everything being perfect.  The feelings of elation and relief were far more than I had expected.

 It was great!!!!!  I could feel the Christmas joy (that I experience at the beginning of December) returning. 

I felt kind of guilty too.  "I can't do that" I thought. I have to do everything I can to make the perfect Christmas for everyone. So, I'm a little stressed.  It only comes once a year.

 But then the words of my family came back and I dared to really consider it. 

I'm not really making it perfect for everyone after all.  How about me?  Is it the perfect Christmas for even me?  And in the long run, is it the perfect Christmas for my family if I'm stressed out and exhausted?

So, I've decided to take a little care of myself this year and to give myself and my family a wonderful "not perfect" Christmas!  

I'm going to allow myself (this is a hard one since I'm a perfectionist) the gift of not being perfect. I'm going to allow myself to absorb all the fun things that make Christmas so wonderful and try not to be so stressed about the "shoulds" this year. 

Maybe I'll "really" enjoy these days leading up to Christmas day. Maybe I'll breathe and really take it all in and have a great time!!!  So far, I have to say I am! 

 

And when Christmas Day arrives......Maybe we'll watch fun Christmas movies, Maybe we'll munch on all kinds of foods all day instead of having the big dinner. Maybe we'll sleep until noon. Maybe we'll just spend the day doing whatever we feel like. 

Maybe things won't be perfect or maybe, just maybe, this time they really will be!  : )

I don't have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect and beautiful journey of my life. It's a trip more wonderful than I could have imagined."

—  Kerry Washington