Music

"A painter paints his pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence."

Leopold Stokowsky

 

I came across this beautiful quote the other day and while it may be familiar to many of you, it was new for me.

It's such a visual description of the beauty of music and also the beauty of how music is created.

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, creating music or lyrics in any form is not my gift at all. I can do it but, trust me,

I would singlehandedly bring the music business to a grinding halt if it got out.  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, with some of the music on the radio, maybe I could be the next big thing. LOL 

 Not in the "under the radar" music world where real quality music lives however. That's where the best of music and it's creators are to be found. 

As the manager for "Sleeping At Last" I have had the privilege to meet so many of these beautifully creative people. People that truly love what they do and not just to become famous. Of course they would love that too but not for the reasons that some people do. They would love to see their music enjoyed by others and also to be able to support themselves but, they honestly LOVE what they do. The music and sometimes lyrics, just flow out of them like paint does from an artist's brush. AND, they don't write to impress people or to sell. They write because it's who they are and it's what they see and hear. As a listener, you can feel it too. Even if it's not your particular taste in music, there's a sincerity to it.

I have been to many shows over the past several years and seen various artists and there is a distinct difference between artists that love what they do and artists that are just there to "cash in". Did you ever notice that? When you're at the shows that are sincere, you have more fun. You get enveloped into the music and you experience it fully. When it's a "cash in" artist, the big elaborate sets and stage performances (I think) are there to mask the emptiness that is also there.  I just think that if the music is great and real, there's no need for the diversionary stuff. 

Music is such a personal thing. It touches everyone no matter who you are or where you live. No matter what age you are even. Even people that are deaf respond to it by feeling. Pregnant women report that their babies respond to it while still in the womb. If you think about it, the first few notes of a song can bring back a memory. Music can set the tone for your day. It can take you out of a bad mood and put you in a better one. It can mark your summer or your wedding, or your high school years. Elderly people can hear a song from decades ago and instantly be transported to their lives and feelings all of those decades ago. Certain songs, can make us feel peaceful during a stressful time or bring back our childhood. Some songs can make an entire stadium of people stand up and start singing along.

But the best songs are the ones that reach down into our hearts and souls and help us to feel or to articulate something that we just couldn't feel or describe otherwise. 

There's something about music that can reach a place in all of us that is unlike anything else.

I have been very blessed to have been at the birth of pretty much  every "Sleeping At Last" song that has ever been written. I've had a front row seat to the writing process and I've learned so much over the past several years about how it's done. Of course, everyone writes differently. I saw Elton John interviewed the other day and he writes the music after his lyricist sends him the lyrics for a song. He said that he looks over the lyrics and then comes up with the music for it. As a matter of fact, he says that he has never written a song with the lyricist in the room ever.

 I know that Ryan writes the melodies first and then the lyrics. Some artists write with other people and share both parts of the songwriting. Some get the vocal melody and then write the music and the lyrics from that. And then there's the artists that write music for commercials or movies. They watch the commercial or scene and then write what they feel fits. And some do a little of each of these varieties of writing.

Then there are the artists that don't write whole songs but play their instruments like they are beautiful works of art. I know that we have several friends that are such amazing artists with their instruments that when they play

they take a song to a new place that is all their own. You can feel their passion for their art in each note. I remember when the band was in the studio recording the "Ghosts" album and we were told that it would be too costly to have live string players play and maybe it would be good to consider synthetic strings. That was when we met Susan Voelz who has since become a good friend in addition to playing on each of the albums that Sleeping At Last has recorded so far. We were in the studio for months doing that album. It was a tense time and I can remember when Susan, Inger, Vannia and Alison showed up to record the string sections for the album. 

We were blown away. To watch them perform and hear the beauty of each note mesmerized everyone in the studio as we all came together to watch and listen. To watch their bows flying across the strings on their instruments and all in sync was amazing. I happened to glance over at the guys and saw them each smiling from ear to ear. 

 And then there's the vocalists. The people that open their mouths and effortlessly they are able to put a voice to lyrics that make it seem more meaningful than is possible with the spoken word. I know that as a listener of music, I tend to catch interest in a song and then without realizing it I'm following along with the vocals and in many cases, hoping that the melody will go in a particular direction and often it does and it feels so right. But then there's the times that a singer will take the melody to a new place that I couldn't have even dreamt of and it just takes your breath away. 

No matter how they do it, it's a beautiful and amazing process from my point of view. 

Because I've gotten to be behind the scenes of this world of music, I can honestly say that it really is just like someone creating a work of art. Little by little, all of the pieces come together to create these amazing "musical paintings" that touch us so deeply. 

Thanks so much to all of you musical painters for all of the great times that you've given us, the listeners. 

Thanks for sharing our deepest feelings and secrets. Thanks for the great memories. Thanks for being there when no one else was.Thanks for the fun times. And thanks for sharing every day of our lives with each of us.  

We LOVE what you do so please keep it coming. We can't wait to hear what you'll be creating for us next.

How To "Hear" Quotes on Happiness

"There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you."
David Burns (I have more to say about this below)

Lately, I've been noticing a surge in facebook and twitter messages filled with quotes about happiness, how to be happy, loving ourselves, etc. This leads me to the conclusion that there are a lot of us feeling pretty bad.

Now, I know that it's winter and most of us have been deep in bad weather and therefore probably some amount of boredom along with the winter blues have set in. But, I think it's maybe more than that.
Or maybe that is exactly what has made us more aware of how unhappy we feel. We have nothing to do but think about how we feel and unfortunately for so many of us....that's not a good thing. Or maybe it is.......

Bottom line......we're already pretty unhappy and maybe NOW in the dead of winter is the perfect time to get to the bottom of it once and for all and to promise ourselves not to avoid it this time!!!!!!!!!

When we feel bad, our primary goal is to NOT FEEL BAD! Not necessarily to get to the bottom of WHY, but instead to just stop the sad feelings. Unfortunately this works as a road block to finding the real reason that we're sad.
We'll do almost anything to avoid it and avoiding is exactly what we do for survival (an inner setting that we automatically go to).
Be honest with yourself. Isn't that the truth? Don't we notice as soon as we start to feel bad and immediately go into avoidance mode? Maybe for some it's through food. Others it may be by getting busy in our lives so that we don't have the time or energy to feel it. Or maybe you medicate with drugs or liquor. Maybe you go on a spending spree. Maybe you go to work and stay there as long as possible every day. We'll do almost anything to avoid the feelings!

At this point you're probably feeling a little uncomfortable with this message and with your feelings. As I've mentioned before, I'm the same. I know because I would be too. I'd be curious to see what will be said but then also I'd feel a little uneasy with the same old message......

I started this post with a quote that I saw today on facebook. The reason that I chose this was because it made me think about something that is rarely mentioned and should be. There are loads of "it could be worse"
"only you can make yourself happy" "you deserve to be happy" messages thrown around and they are all truthful and good except for one thing. We still feel bad!

Most of us know that these messages are true but for various reasons we've been knocked off of our self esteem foundation.
When we read things like this or they are said to us, it only makes us feel less understood, more like our feelings aren't worthy and what's wrong with us that we're so sad when things could be worse? And more like failures because we can't seem to make ourselves happy OR we feel like giving up because we just can't even imagine doing more work to make ourselves happy. We're usually already exhausted from feeling bad in the first place.

In one of my earlier posts I referred to a quote that I hope is a bit different. It requires nothing......but opening your heart.

"You yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" Buddha

I love this one because all we have to do is stop and think about it and then absorb it. Love feels good. It's the comfort that we're yearning for.

Ask yourself this.....do YOU believe that you deserve love? Not what have you been told, not what have you accepted, not what you have weighed yourself down with........
DO YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN LOVE?
It's simple really. Think of yourself as a child. Picture you at about 7 years old. Does that little boy or girl deserve to be loved? Each of us is still a little kid inside. Does that little boy or girl deserve YOUR LOVE?
Deep in your heart and soul, you know that they do. Would you just let them stand there feeling like that and tell them that they don't deserve to be loved? So why do we tell ourselves that we don't deserve it?

I know that if you're feeling bad inside, it's probably there for a reason. And you know (be honest with yourself) what the reason is. You had your self esteem stolen by someone or someones. You are probably thinking that other people deserve that love but not you. Maybe you wonder if you really are a bad person. Maybe you wonder if you are all the things that they have said (or not said) about you. Maybe they're right. WELL THAT"S WRONG!

Here's some evidence of that....... If you were a bad person, you wouldn't care what others say about you. You wouldn't care if you were right or wrong. You wouldn't listen to what is said because you would think that you're better than everyone else already. AND YOU WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER FEELING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. The simple truth is that you feel bad because YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!

You have been so wounded and hurt that you have turned on yourself and now it's time to turn that around.

Whatever you are sad or unhappy about (I am sure) has a foundation of feeling bad about yourself in some form.

Now is the perfect time to look at that and just feel it. You know the reason/reasons that it's there. You know the truth deep inside. Instead of avoiding the bad feelings and rushing to have good ones......
just feel the hurt as long as you need to. It's ok. You can cry or yell or pray or (if you haven't already) tell someone. Most importantly, YOU need to just feel the pain. If you let yourself feel it, it will go away faster. You will be taking it's power away and that's a great feeling. YOU will have the power over it.

That little 7 year old (You) deserves to have you defend him/her. Whatever happened to you that has brought you to this place.....tell yourself that story only this time put that little girl or boy in the role of you. Did he/she deserve whatever happened? Do you understand why he/she feels bad? Does he/she deserve to feel the way that you do? Sometimes when you picture yourself as a child it can give you so much clarity about the situation.

You need to let yourself feel the hurt and without squelching it. It may take 10 minutes or it may take an evening, or it may take a week. Just feel the hurt and anger and it's ok to feel bad for yourself as well. I would recommend that you not sit in the hurt indefinitely. You'll know when you've had enough. Just don't allow yourself to push it down or rush it. This is not about what other people think or their approval. This is your first act of love for yourself and it opens the road to happiness and the restoring of your inner self.

It's a lot like when a little child falls down and gets hurt. We don't let them limp around and tell them to ignore the deep injury which would eventually cause them to get an infection etc. If you're a good loving parent you take care of the child and fix the wound. This is a good analogy maybe. The first thing we do is....

1. take care of checking out the child's injury (acknowledge the real story that has caused your wound in the first place and be honest about how bad it is)

2. we let the child cry and we comfort them until they feel better (let ourselves feel the pain and comfort ourselves while we do)

3. we clean the injury up and then bandage it ( clean out the hurt and lies that others have caused and begin to fill our hearts and minds with kind thoughts about ourselves. Also let's do something loving for ourselves. Maybe that would be a pedicure, a haircut, a movie, a night at the gym, a book, a show. Something that is a kindness to yourself and make this a regular routine)

4. We give them a big hug and a kiss and send them back to play (happily give yourself the love that you deserve
and let the wounds heal without going back to them. Head back to the life you were meant to live with a smile on your face)

Loving yourself does not mean that you will become selfish or conceited. I was worried about that because these 2 personality issues were present in all of the people that wounded me. I didn't want to be anything like them.
Loving yourself is different. It doesn't mean that you can do no wrong. It means that you are real and that love is your primary goal in life for yourself as well as others. It also makes you feel safer about showing love to others because you know that your own loving foundation is secure.

So in closing, all of the quotes about making ourselves happy are true but before we can hear them, we have to stop and feel the hurt. After that, making ourselves happy is pretty easy.

Love,
Kim