Perfect non Perfection

So, it's December 15th and Christmas is only 10 days away now.  That thought can bring excitement and joy to many of us or in many cases can release a feeling of total terror. Terror at the thought of seeing family members that maybe we don't get along with. Terror of the expenses and how are we going to cover them? 

And terror that we have so much to do and how can we possibly get it all done? 

For me, a few of those thoughts apply. But the one that I wanted to talk about today is the last one. 

Terror that we won't be able to get it all done on time.

When you think about it....it isn't the getting it done part that we get stressed about. The stress is that we will let someone down. It could be ourselves even. We can't bear that thought of letting the people that we love down. 

That's what it is for me every year. 

The funny part is that my family has told me repeatedly that they would like it better if I was having a good Christmas too and not stressing about making it perfect for everyone else.  

Every year I would tell myself that this year would be different and yet, they were all the same. Christmas would come and everyone would have a wonderful time and I would be so thrilled with how it turned out and then like clockwork....within the next few days, I would collapse and get sick. 

Well, that sounds fun doesn't it?

The other day, I was starting to panic at the thought of getting all of the food figured out for Christmas day and all of the places that I'll have to go for picking things up and all in one day etc etc etc...now, I know that in the scope of life, this is no big problem. Certainly there are far more trying things happening in the world.  I always tell myself exactly that too. But the result is the same. STRESSSSSSS

So, I decided to let myself just think....only think mind you.....about how it would feel if we just relaxed and had a fun day without everything being perfect.  The feelings of elation and relief were far more than I had expected.

 It was great!!!!!  I could feel the Christmas joy (that I experience at the beginning of December) returning. 

I felt kind of guilty too.  "I can't do that" I thought. I have to do everything I can to make the perfect Christmas for everyone. So, I'm a little stressed.  It only comes once a year.

 But then the words of my family came back and I dared to really consider it. 

I'm not really making it perfect for everyone after all.  How about me?  Is it the perfect Christmas for even me?  And in the long run, is it the perfect Christmas for my family if I'm stressed out and exhausted?

So, I've decided to take a little care of myself this year and to give myself and my family a wonderful "not perfect" Christmas!  

I'm going to allow myself (this is a hard one since I'm a perfectionist) the gift of not being perfect. I'm going to allow myself to absorb all the fun things that make Christmas so wonderful and try not to be so stressed about the "shoulds" this year. 

Maybe I'll "really" enjoy these days leading up to Christmas day. Maybe I'll breathe and really take it all in and have a great time!!!  So far, I have to say I am! 

 

And when Christmas Day arrives......Maybe we'll watch fun Christmas movies, Maybe we'll munch on all kinds of foods all day instead of having the big dinner. Maybe we'll sleep until noon. Maybe we'll just spend the day doing whatever we feel like. 

Maybe things won't be perfect or maybe, just maybe, this time they really will be!  : )

I don't have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect and beautiful journey of my life. It's a trip more wonderful than I could have imagined."

—  Kerry Washington

The Comfort Zone

Well, Happy Monday to you!

I know that we're all getting very busy with the holidays approaching so I will keep today's post short (actually it has turned out not to be after all. Apparently I had more to say than I realized. No surprise there). 

 I hope that you're having some fun with all of the shopping and activities in your world. It's a great time for catching up with old friends too. We have a mix of Christmas fun and lots of work going on over here. 

Usually December is the time that the guys take off and by January we're all looking happily to going back to work for the new year and touring etc.

Well, this year is very different as I mentioned in my previous post. Work will continue through December and  into the new year. 

Although it's very hard to write all the new music every month, it's not something that any of us (so far) regret at all. We're having a great time.  

As a matter of fact.... I was telling Ryan the other day, that normally, we have about 6 months to get absorbed into the 11 songs for an album. But  now, with "Yearbook",  we have about 2-3 weeks for every 3 songs. 

I got into my husbands car the other day and he had "October" playing on the stereo. That's what made me think about it.  I was thinking " Hey, I remember you!"    You see, right now we have the "January " songs zipping around in our heads and "October" was a few EPs ago so, for now, it's a distant memory.  

We work on the current 3 songs until they're ready for release and then it's on to the next three. There's very little time for much more. But that's ok. It's totally worth it!!!

I know that it's easier for me to say because I'm not writing the songs, but I have to say honestly....although there are times that Ryan is stressed with the work....I watch him and he's having a great time and excited about each new song and all of the fun he's having with the guests that are working on the songs too! 

When "Yearbook" is completed, I think there will be loads of great memories and satisfaction that it's complete, but mostly........I think the overriding feeling will be HAPPINESS!!!!  Happiness that this idea that started back in May turned out to be one of the best (and most fun) things that we've ever done. It will have been a lot of stress and work but the gifts and blessings that have come from it are already apparent.

There's a lot to be said about how we feel comfortable and excited once we're actually taking the steps towards our dreams. There's something that just feels right.  Even with the moments of doubt or times of stress.  Even with all of the hard work and believe me there's plenty. But really....would we want it any other way? 

Half the fun of a dream is working to make it a reality! 

And through it all, there's a feeling of comfort and an excitement deep in our souls!  AND (who knew) a feeling of security.  

 We feel that we're right where we should be and that's because......we are. 

The only courage you ever need is to live your heart's desire."

—  Oprah

Imagination and Risk

Happy December! 

I'm sorry for not writing sooner. As expected, the new project by "Sleeping At Last" called "Yearbook" is well underway and keeping us very very very busy! For those of you that aren't familiar with "Sleeping At Last" and the "Yearbook" project, let me tell you a little about it. 

"Sleeping At Last" is a band that I am blessed to manage. Back in mid May we had just come back from a tour and Ryan and I were having lunch at a local pizza place when the idea of "Yearbook" was born.

Ryan came up with the idea and I have to admit, for a minute I thought "are you crazy?" But the excitement of the possibilities took over!  : )

The project plans were formatted over the next week and then presented to Dan. The band has only 2 members and Dan was in the midst of his wedding planning and looked a little dazed at the idea of this but then agreed that it could be cool. So Dan got married and went on his honeymoon and Ryan started to write. 

This project is called "Yearbook" because it will take place over a year.

The band is releasing 3 new songs each month that will be written and recorded for that month. Each month they release a 3 song EP digitally and each has new artwork, a booklet with all of the lyrics and is available via the website sleepingatlast.com or at iTunes as well. The Eps are offered as a single month purchase or you can buy a 1 year subscription that will deliver the EP info to your email each month.

 There are lots of guests performing and many new things for the band to play with. 

When you're making a full length album (and that happens about every 2-3 years)...there is so much expense and weight on the song choices so there is no room left for trying new things that are really different for an artist. The great part of this project is that it offers the opportunity to have fun and experiment. 

Now for those of you that aren't musicians....I can tell you that to write 36 songs (that you would want anyone to hear) is no small task! Hence my thoughts back in May about being crazy. But Ryan was convinced that it could be fun and if you remember back in an earlier post I mentioned that Ryan will work on something again and again until he gets it. This started when he was a little guy. So, I knew that this would be tough but we could do it.

The part that involves me, is all of the business things that have to be taken care of.  Whenever an album is released (or an EP) there is a great deal of work (Other than, of course, the music) that goes into it. There's all of the legal agreements for anyone working on the album (mixing engineers, mastering engineers, artists performing any instruments or vocal parts etc),  paying everyone, promotion for the EP, the artwork has to be chosen and for this project there is a theme throughout all 12 months and a reason that the artwork has significance for that month (which is more complicated than just picking something that we like). There's also all of the work involved online to make this available. Subscription or single EPs to be purchased. Codes supplied. Then there's the registering of each song. And the list goes on and on. 

So this project is like releasing 3 full length albums as far as the number of songs involved but for releases and my job, it's like releasing an album a month. Normally I would have 6 months to a year to get all of this work done but in this case it's finishing one and on to the next. 

The first release "October" released on October 1st of this year followed by "November" and "December." 

We have been blessed to have the same great people working on this project that have worked on our full length albums. Every month, these great guys make room in their very busy schedules to mix and then master all 3 songs. That takes some major coordination with schedules.

As you can imagine, it's very difficult to coordinate schedules when Thanksgiving and Christmas come along. So we knew that November and December would be extra challenging and they have been! 

This project has turned out to be so much fun and been such a blessing already!  It's been loads of tough work and you'll find Ryan in the studio writing from 10AM until 2AM everyday. But...it's all worth it! 

 As I had mentioned back in another post about a month ago, one of the songs was featured on ABCTV "Private Practice" and since I wrote last we have been soooooooo blessed to have another song from "Yearbook" featured on another episode of the same show on December 2nd!  This brings more happiness and elation to all of us than I could describe in words! Beaming is an understatement!!!!!  Without the imagination and without taking the risk, we wouldn't have had the blessings! 

So why am I telling you all of this?

This....like so many new ventures started as an idea in someone's dreams that seemed too difficult to achieve but with hard work, determination and passion... the risk was taken and we're having the time of our lives!!!! 

This can apply to more than just our careers too. It can apply to our relational lives as well. And soooooooo much more. If we take the risk to even dare to think about what we really want.....the door starts to open and we get a glimpse of all that can be. And that's the most fun! 

As it turns out....imagination is the first step on some very solid footing. 

We're quick to close the door for fear of being disappointed or hurt if it isn't achievable and we're full of doubt (usually put there by other people) as to whether or not we can make it happen.

I found this quote and thought it was very appropriate and so true! And look who said it!

So this year, let's give ourselves a Christmas gift. Let's take the risk and believe in our dreams. Just think of all the fun that could be in store for us in 2011!!!

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last you create what you will."

—  George Bernard Shaw

Change

Today I decided to write a little about change.

Change is not one of my favorite things at all! So of
course.....I've had to adjust to lots of changes over the past few
years. Isn't that the way it usually is?! The thing you don't like
is what you get to deal with : )

Something got me thinking about this yesterday actually.

Because we're usually on tour, finishing up the work from a tour and
then prepping for another tour, I don't really have much free time to
do things that are just for fun. I realized this fall that I haven't
been home in the fall since 2002.

So I decided to go to a cooking demonstration by a baker from New York
that was being held at one of the William Sonoma stores near me. I
love those stores by the way. I had a great time. After that I went to
the Macy's store in the mall that I was at.

I'm sure that you have a Macy's near you. When we tour, I've noticed
how many local department stores across the country were bought up by
Macy's. Even in Hawaii this is the case.
For us the store was Marshall Fields. When this happened there was so
much disappointment across the area because Marshall Fields was the
place of so many happy family memories for generations particularly at
Christmas. People were up in arms and wanted to boycott which many did.

As it turns out, most of us don't really like change. Some more loudly
than others.

So, I went to Macy's for a quick lunch. As I sat eating my lunch, I
looked around and noticed how much had changed. Some for the better
and some not. I have to admit that there was a bit of sadness in my
thoughts as I remembered so many happy family holidays that were spent
there when it was Marshall Fields. But it's inevitable.....change
comes.... like it or not.

Our lives change for so many reasons. Sometimes the reasons are not of
our choosing. Sometimes it's change as the result of our taking a risk
and reaching towards something we want.

But all change includes a bit of apprehension. Some more than others.
When change comes without our consent, it can turn our world upside
down. I have experienced this kind of change a few times in my life
and it's been anything but fun.

I believe that sometimes these unwanted changes are given to teach us
something. Or perhaps to warn us about something that needs to change
in our lives. I do not believe that they are with no purpose.
And..... if we can gather all of our strength and move ahead, having
learned the lessons that are there for us......the next kind of change
comes.

The kind where we take the risk and reach for something that we
want ....and that's a new life! A better life free of the problems
that were holding us back.

The tough part is getting strong enough to take the risk. Some days it
feels like an impossible task.

Sometimes we just want to curl back up into our old lives and have
things the way they were before this unwanted change was thrust upon
us. I have succeeded at doing this. I say succeeded loosely because
the truth is, if we are able to curl back up into the "comfort"
zone.....we are just prolonging the time that it will take to get to
our new and better life.

It's a rough and painful ride but a better day is coming and that's a
guarantee. I know that there are times that breathing is all that we
have the strength to do and that's all we need to do.

It won't be long before your strength will become evident, a little at
a time and as I mentioned the other day we need to reach for the new
and good.

Change is the open door that we go through to find the amazing life we
are meant to live. That's why it feels so scary. Because it's so
different than what we've settled with.

So, take those shaky steps forward through that door and once you
cross that threshold........you'll be amazed with all that's been
waiting for you on the other side. Things that we can't even imagine
right now. Wow.....
Let's do it together!

Happy Thanksgiving part #2

Well, tomorrow is the big day and as promised I am posting this
message tonight instead of tomorrow. I know that everyone is busy over
the next couple of days so I won't be writing much.

Tonight, I thought that maybe instead of focusing on the things we're
missing (maybe just for now), maybe today we should focus on the
things that we're grateful for. So I've complied a list and I hope it
will help to get you thinking about the many things that you have to
be grateful for too! : )

My gratitude list:

I'm grateful to God that He showed me time and time again the things
that I needed to know so that I could take the first steps towards the
life He wants for me. I'm sure that I tested His patience when I kept
ignoring what He was showing me because I was hoping for a different
answer. I'm so thankful that He didn't give up on me.

Next, at the top of my gratitude list are Ryan and Cayt. They have
stood by me throughout everything. All of the ups and deep downs. They
have supported me, loved me, encouraged me and been my strength when I
was at the bottom. They have been my life line.

And right behind them are Dan and Therese. They supported me and
encouraged me and never let me forget the truth.

I am soooooooo very thankful for these 4 people! Thank you so much you
guys!
In fact, they're the ones that encouraged me to start this blog.

Our dogs Maile and Wilco (members of our family and loved so much!)

The gift of my job with Sleeping At Last and all of the great people
that I get to meet. The fun times touring and the great places we get
to visit.

Here's a list of general things that are all around us and yet go
unnoticed so often. I'm grateful for.........

The stars and there beauty on a clear winter night

Yesterday (before a crazy storm came through here) I was in my yard
and there were lots of birds all making lots of noise and I looked to
see what the commotion was. I think they were warning each other about
the storm. How cool is that?

Music

Traveling

Water when I turn on the faucet.

Heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer

A roof over our heads

mountains

I can jump in the car and in 5-10 minutes drive to a wide variety of
great places to eat or shop

The moon when it's full on a clear night

The city of Chicago and all that it has to offer from shopping to
culture to great food to sports.

Fresh fruit in the middle of the winter

Snow

Rain

Fall leaves and all of their colors

Walt Disney World

movies

Storms

Fresh laundry

Fresh air

a car that runs

Sprinkles Cupcakes (the new addiction in our house)

Books

Wisdom

The ocean

Homes that have been decorated for Christmas

Christmas Music

There is so much more!

I'm hoping you will take a look at your life today and notice the
little things that you can be thankful for too and make your own list.
If we spend the day thinking about all of the good things, it will
crowd out the bad.
Have a great day and a Very Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,
Kim

Happy Thanksgiving part #1

I know that today is a busy day for most of us and with that in mind,
I'm going to do something a little different. I'm posting this message
now and then tonight, I plan to post my Thanksgiving Day thoughts
because I know that for some of us, there won't be much time to read
before we're off for the days events (whatever that will be)

and... I'm hoping that it will be of some help as you face the day
tomorrow (if you're struggling or not).

For those of you that are alone or hurting, make sure that you set up
some Thanksgiving Day plans TODAY. Maybe you can get together with
someone else that is alone for the day. Or maybe you could head to a
movie and then to dinner at a restaurant (many are open and serving a
full Thanksgiving meal). Or maybe your idea of a good day is to stay
home and watch a bunch of holiday movies and eat junk food all day.
The important thing is to plan (deliberately) to do something. Don't
just ignore the day. You'll feel much better if the day is made up of
the choices you've made. Even if they're choices that you're stuck
with due to circumstances out of your control. Decide how YOU want to
spend the day and have fun with your choices. Remember too that you
are NOT ALONE! You may feel like it but you're not. I assure you!

Let me tell you about one Thanksgiving that I experienced about 5
years ago.

This was the first year that I was faced with my Thanksgiving
changing (whether I liked it or not).

To say I felt lost would be an understatement. Thanksgiving had
always been one of my favorite holidays so it was particularly painful
that this would be the first tradition in my life that had to change.
I also knew that it was very likely that it would need to be
changed.... forever. I felt terrible. I didn't know where to start
and I didn't really want to either.

So the decision was made that we would start the day with some
wonderful Cinnabons (a holiday treat that we've had for years). This
was good because it was part of our normal tradition. The guest list
had changed a bit but it felt familiar.

The next thing we did was to go to a movie (yes a movie on
Thanksgiving)!

We went to the huge AMC theatre near our house and when we arrived in
the parking lot, a wave of sadness came over me. Here I was at a movie
on Thanksgiving Day instead of with the people that I had spent so
many many big family Thanksgivings with before. All of the hurt and
disbelief rushed through my head. I felt like I was in shock and numb
except for the hurt.

I didn't say anything about how I felt while we were in the car that
day so I don't know if anyone knew that I was feeling bad. So we
walked into the theatre and as we were buying our tickets, I mentioned
to the ticket person that I was sorry that they had to work because of
all of us that didn't have a family to go have dinner with. The
theatre was surprisingly crowded too. She and the guy next to her kind
of laughed and said "don't worry, why do you think we're here? We
wanted to work today for the same reason!" Well that sure took me by
surprise. I looked around at the crowd and suddenly I didn't feel as
bad. We were surrounded with other people that were alone or maybe
hurting too but they were smiling and clearly having a great time. I
realized that I was not the only one in this position and that maybe
it was all gonna be ok after all. The movie was great too!

We went out to dinner later that night and shared the restaurant with
loads of families and singles and that made it feel like Thanksgiving.
AND BONUS...the food was great and I didn't have to cook : )

At about 11:30 that night we went to meet some friends at the big
midnight sale at the outlet mall. Crazy fun! And this year there are
quite a few stores open on Thanksgiving day if you want to get a jump
start on your shopping.

I actually remember this particular Thanksgiving more than most and
not just because it was hard but instead because it had turned out to
be really fun! I had a great day and for some reason, it felt more
like the kind of Thanksgiving that I would pick if I had a choice. And
now I did! It felt relaxing and comfortable!

As I had said in an earlier post, I miss the people that I used to
spend Thanksgiving with but I don't miss the way things were and I'm
truly blessed that I get a chance to make my life what I would like it
to be. On that Thanksgiving Day, I would have never believed that I
could feel happy again but I sincerely do and you will too.

So.... customize this Thanksgiving to fit YOU and you might find
yourself actually enjoying the day (not to mention that it could be
the start of your own Thanksgiving traditions)

I'll be back with Thanksgiving part #2 later tonight.

Love,
Kim

Map Your Own Life

Todays post will be a bit shorter. I hope that you had a chance to read yesterdays and have taken the time to sit and think about it. Without knowing what your actual goals and dreams are, you'll feel like you're just floundering in a stormy sea.  I thought it might be a good idea to give us a little more time with this. I know that we're all busy at this time of year so it might be hard to find the time, but I hope you will. Even if it's while you're laying in bed before you fall asleep. Maybe it will have to be a series of 5 minute slots here and there. Whatever works for you. 

With all of the busyness that we feel, somehow still, the voices of uncertainty and sadness and dread still manage to show up. Especially if you're dealing with broken relationships and hurts that involve family. Thanksgiving is only a few days away now and I'm sure (just like me) that it's bringing up some difficult feelings etc.

Yesterday I had a little setback myself. An email arrived from an extended family member that brought up a lot of  wounds and questions. It seemed harmless enough but then, there it was, bubbling to the surface. All of the hurt and anger and unanswered questions about why? I spent a good part of my day going over all of it in my mind again and again. That's how this poison works. 

Well, I decided that I could let myself sit there in the sadness or I could look at my goals and stay focused on them. So I did. It's surprisingly easy if you just try. That's not to say that I have forgotten how I feel. It's just that now, it's not the main things I'm thinking about. It's the side thing and I don't need to let it destroy any more of my day. Whenever I catch myself starting to think about it again, I just smile and refocus my attention on my dreams and goals. They feel so happy and light, it makes my mood change almost immediately. 

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to be thinking about the things that we're thankful for and maybe we can start with this.......an amazing gift.......

God has given us the opportunity to recreate our lives. To follow our dreams and to be truly happy! 

It may take a little work but it's there for the taking and I am so so  thankful for that! 

So today, (if you haven't already) try to take some time to decide what you want for your life.  Then, we'll head off on this road together for the best adventure yet! 

"There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It's why you were born. And how you become most truly alive."                                Oprah

For those of you that are struggling, I mentioned earlier that I would be available if you need a listening ear, or a question answered or if you're just having a hard time. I'm including my email address here (in code so I don't get a bunch of spam)

capturingwishes (at symbol) aol (dot com)

Please feel free to contact me.  If you need to talk, I'm really here and it's no bother at all. I would be honored. 

Love,

Kim