Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Lessons From An Unlikely Place

Hello again!

I apologize for being absent for so long. Life got very busy for me. For the most part, things have been good but of course, like everyone else, there were some not great times too! But enough about that.

If you remember a previous blog post that I had written some time ago.....I love bears! Seriously! And I don't mean the Chicago Bears either. I love bears! It has been my dream to see one in the wild.

This past June, I had taken a trip to Wisconsin and while we were driving on the highway, a big beautiful black bear came running out of the woods and ran directly in front of us as it crossed the highway. It wasn't running like it was scared or in a hurry. It was just kind of galloping along happily. It was completely oblivious to the cars which still scares me. I have always been aware of deer or other animals running in front of cars but never a bear. I was so surprised, I just watched it run by and THEN it occurred to me what I had just seen. Of course, what was the first thing I did???? Post it on Facebook and Twitter. Not a picture because it was too fast to get one. Just my pure excitement at what I had just witnessed! It was so cool!!!! Definitely a high point!

In keeping with my Bear theme, I wanted to write about something else that I have enjoyed over the past couple of weeks. If I haven't mentioned it before, I love movies and particularly Blu Rays. I recently saw that a new blu ray was being released by National Geographic called "Bears of the Last Frontier". Naturally, I decided to order it from Amazon. It is FANTASTIC! It takes place in Alaska and the photography is spectacular! Grizzly Bears, Black Bears and Polar Bears are seen in the wild playing, eating, and living their lives. They head to several locations in Alaska and the Arctic and believe me......there are locations that I have never seen before. The beauty is breathtaking and now I would love to visit Alaska! There is even a section that shows (using time-lapse photography) how the ocean freezes over in the arctic. So by now you've gotten the idea that I love this blu ray right?! The host is so great too and not just someone reading their lines either. His name is Chris Morgan and you can hear the sheer delight in his voice with so many of the cool discoveries. So if you get a chance, check it out. If you like bears, you'll love it but even if not, the beauty of Alaska (all parts of it) is worth it on it's own.

Now, one thing that I haven't mentioned is that throughout this blu ray, there are many mother bears and their cubs. Many of the scenes are momma bears playing with their cubs or teaching them some skill. It's so cute to see the cuddling of the cubs with their moms. The momma bears are known to do anything to protect their babies too. They are spectacular moms and their cubs are loved and protected completely. Black Bears, Grizzly Bears and Polar Bears. They are all the same. Motherhood at it's best.

This got me thinking about human mothers. Isn't it sad that so many human mothers are missing the love and mothering skills that are present in bears? Maybe you have been blessed to have a good mom like that. Or maybe you haven't. These bear moms represent the best in motherhood. They guard their cubs, they teach them how to live successful lives, they hug them, they play with them, they feed them and so much more. I couldn't help but think how different many of our lives would be if we all had moms that were that loving.

If you had the misfortune of having a mother that wasn't very good, you already know the loss that it presents in your life. I know many people that weren't blessed with a good mom and have gone on to live great lives. There is hope. It's pretty simple even. It sounds silly but actually, you can be your own mom. You can give yourself the love that you didn't get from your mother. Why is it that we always want to blame ourselves for this. Like somehow it's our fault that they don't love us? Of course we know in our heads that we couldn't have done anything to cause this but our hearts are a different matter. There's always that little voice that says maybe there's something wrong with us. Maybe somehow we really don't deserve their love.

Well let's get rid of that kind of thinking right now. We all deserve to be loved. And for whatever reason, we were given mothers that weren't going to give us the love that we need. Maybe we are somehow stronger and God knew that the children that would be born to these mothers would need to be very strong to survive.

Most of the people that I've know with mothers like this are pretty amazing people in their own right. This loss has somehow made them better people with more compassion and understanding than most. They are also very loving people. So maybe we should just embrace this loss and turn around and give the love that we have been blessed with to other people that are struggling. There are so many out there. Wouldn't we have loved to have someone take us under their wing when we were struggling with the hurts that our mothers caused? Let's be those people. Let's use the wisdom that we've gained and make a difference for others. I have a feeling that it won't take long and that emptiness that we were feeling will disappear.

One other thing that I noticed about the bear moms in my blu ray was that they had the sense to know when to feed and take care of themselves. They could give all of their food to their cubs but, they keep some for themselves. How strong would they be if they needed to defend their cubs without having eaten and rested? They take care of themselves as a priority so that they are ready for all of their responsibilities as moms. And... so that they can happily give the love and play to their cubs.

So wise!

This falls into the same category as putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child when you're in an airplane. How can you take care of your child if you've passed out from putting yours on last? How can you be strong enough to be a good parent if you've given everything away and kept nothing to feed yourself? If you're not getting enough sleep or time for yourself, it will take it's toll on you eventually. If you're a mom or a dad, do you remember to do this? It's so easy to forget. Follow the bear moms and take care of yourself too.

Thanks so much for reading and remember to check out "National Geographic Bears of the Last Frontier"

Love,

Kim